I had been working towards something for the last five years. But I didn’t really have anything to show for it. My house was still a dump. I was still a scumbag. And I had less things and less money. I had wanted to make sure, if I became a dad, that I didn’t molest children. And if I became a husband, that I didn’t cheat on my wife. Since I was old enough to be a dad, I supposed that I should be supporting others so I gave a lot away and sold a lot of things. I did let go of alcohol and being severely judge mental. That’s a good thing. But I really don’t feel like I have anything to show for five years of working soooo hard. Ohhhh. Haha!
Atleast I was eating less ice cream and cookies. I found my fix in beats and oatmeal.
I did break down some massive walls in my emotionator. Like I could just calmly be present with other people in a way I couldn’t before.
I guess at the very atleast, I was atleast somewhat ready to start life.
And most importantly, I had learned that God is supportive. That was huge for me.