In some ways it’s never ending. Because once you lose someone, it’s permanent. They never come back to life. And it could have been someone you barely knew, or one of your closest friends. It exposes something about the human brain. For me it feels like losing a part of myself. But what does that mean? Take Sean Arlt. We had been really close friends. And when he was gone, I didn’t actually lose any of myself. But maybe my brain internalized him. Something like mirror neurons. A part of my brain actually grew around our relationship. Or suppose that once he was gone, I had to change. And let go of an old self. Either way. He is gone but something inside of me left too. But it’s all just on my head!!!
But I could mourn him and a few other people forever. That is strange to me. It seems like it should resolve at some point. Maybe I’m just still in the middle of it.