Santa Cruz Forever

Things are weird right now. I am happy. And it’s like everyone wants something from me. I need to rebalance with who I give my attention or energy to. It is like everyone is constantly jabbing at me right now. I don’t know how to explain that. Everyone wants to bring me down! Things were clear today. Crystal clear. It was nice. Clear as a diamond!!! I am going to do really well with my next job. I can tell.

I sailed the Wednesday night race. It went well. Good spinnaker set and douse. Hung with the pack almost. Those race boats are just hard to keep up with. It was fun. Nothing like buying a ring though. I seriously can not wait to ask her. If she takes it, she is really going to make that ring. Oh my God.

Most importantly, something shielded me today. I had this inner peace and strength. And amidst chaos and criticism and frankly evil actions, I was ok and happy!

Oh it felt so good. To give her what she deserves. I would have given her flowers everyday, I just thought we had to go on a date first. It felt awkward. Who cares now. Now I just have to figure out how to be there and be myself without screaming in excitement.

Oh it’s my favorite thing to do. Getting into her heart.

Someone who didn’t understand compared her to an empty well. She is more like an endless well. Of life.

See this is why I owe her my life. It took me five years to just buy the ring and let her say yes. And she waited for me the whole time.

Today was good. I did not go to the fair. I went to the LOARC picnic, and it was great. I spoke with the owners a bit and they were fabulous. Me and the volunteers joked around about our fun times. It truly was helpful. What a fun time. Then I finished cleaning my house and car. And I got Stacey something small to send to thank her. I have no idea how I am going to get it to her but she deserves a lot.

I am slowly figuring this all out. It was all an idea at first, and now it’s becoming real. And it is worth it.

Ohh it’s like fishing. First you test the waters a little bit. Then you know the right lure. Then see if you get a bite. I don’t care what happens. I transferred the money! *a yes is worth the no.