Ahhh! Things happen and it’s like I regress in to the brutish mentality. Like the old cabin classic kind of took me back a few years. I am refined. I am clean. I am smart. I am not a non verbal animal. I can express hints. I am not that great. I am a son of God and a god calls for love, patience, humility, and wisdom. I pushed myself really hard in the race and it brought out a sort of animal. Which is fine but I need to be wise!!

Something is off with my teddy bear. It’s like there’s a spell on it. It looks alive to me. And it eyes look like holes into another universe. I think that is what amber saw. It’s freaking me out. I’m going to get rid of it. I need to engage with people! And so does she!

I am also surrounded by this sort of brutish attitude in my neighborhood. Maybe it’s because it’s spring. I don’t want any part of it. Maybe I could vocalize and name some things for people around me. I am sober. And sober minded. And progress minded. Stay on the edge. Clear out the junk! I need to get rid of some books. I am progressing. A lot of people and writers want to stay in this sort of dumbed down peace. I want smart peace! And clean peace! And letting go of junk!!! I’m headed to the dump. I’m almost there. House is almost done. Added a few projects… but it’s ok. What happens then? I don’t know. But it will be something amazing. And smart. And planned. And wise.

I could just imagine … what if she did like me? And we kissed after five years? I am pretty sure there would be an earthquake.

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