The trauma cycle

Some people say the silver lining to digging out of an evil situation is that you are a help to others that are recovering as well. That does not make sense to me because it sort of justifies evil … if the evil didn’t exist in the first place then no one would need to recover from it! So how do I understand evil? How do I justify its existence? I still don’t know, but I can look at what I know about Jesus and God. Clearly if God exists he is not completely stopping evil. His answer was to ask man to stop doing evil, through the commandments, and then later he created Jesus who supposedly embodied God and then was sacrificed, literally, for mans evil choices. So there seems to be this evil force, and people can choose to follow it or not. I’m always looking for blame. Do I blame a person or do I blame evil. Blaming evil has helped me understand things better. I think the next step is stopping to look for blame. And that comes from gratitude I think. I have been in deep grief and definitely moving towards the last step, between depression and acceptance. My counselor has talked me through the stages of grief, and it definitely lines up exactly with my experience. I am in a huge depression and I started looking for excitement at work and with coffee to cover it up. But now I am just in it, slowly building strength again; and getting glimpses of the holy grail. Acceptance. Where I can see the good and forgive the bad.

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