Last year at this time I was commuting. We would leave at 540 and get in and I’d make my oatmeal and a half decaf half hot water. And I loved it. And the signing bonus was huge, like double my salary, and right now I would be receiving it. But it doesn’t make a difference. It didn’t work out. I didn’t fit in. I’m unique. I felt coaster phobic.

So I think next happened. And now I’m wondering what on earth is next now?

I bought I saw Stacey yesterday. A lady was biking past me while I was driving. We exchanged looks for five seconds. I wasn’t really aware. I looked away because I couldn’t tell who it was. Then I thought it may have been her. I don’t know. It felt good whoever it was. I have no idea what is real anymore. I know God is real. And I a, becoming more real myself. And suddenly I’m surrounded by people who are in a video game. Tons are alcoholics too. They go to work, drink, sleep, and charge back to work, angry and empty. Church is good. It might not be perfect, but it’s way better than the alternatives.

is just funny because if I had wanted it that badly, I could have a million dollars in cash right now. If I stuck with my old job, and cashed out my house. But I don’t care about that. I care about recycling, and taking care of things. And everyone treats me like shit for taking care of shit. Haha! Oh but if I drove around a Maserati and everyone knew I had a million dollars they would respect me. Or that’s what it seems like. What do you have to do to be respected?

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