Either way I just need to get out of this sort of fantastical view of things. I don’t understand what has been going on within me. It’s like I was given a taste of heaven and now I’m going crazy trying to get there only to find, I am not in heaven.
A huge part of this was me getting back to childhood. And processing a ton of little traumas that never processed and all got stuck. And that was amazing. It’s so frustrating! I had to go through so much just to get where everyone else is.
It was like all of a sudden I reintegrated all of me that existed and got hidden away before all these situations that seem to have really hurt other people. And to me it was like nothing ever happened because I was back to just me before the world got to me. But everyone else was still mad and also probably confused by my behavior of trying to complement everyone and support everyone because life to me is now very real and very fragile.p