Great! How am I doing? Horrible! Oh it’s so hard to let go of. So many memories. It’s ok. I just don’t have a new home yet. Poor planning. Sort of. Boats haven’t quite worked out. I don’t know if that’s a good idea any way. A boat is always a poor investment.
You’re amazing! Watch out for the weirdos. They want to trap and control you. They know what they are doing. They want to manipulate you so they can see your body. Haha! It’s true! They use specific words and reverse psychology.
I mentally relinquished the epic house. It’s totally worth it. I’ve never really talked to her. But I get to know her better everyday. It’s hard to describe. It’s like when two ants pass each other and their feelers touch … and there pheromones instantly tell each other everything they need to know. And there were a lot of pheromones to process.
I had wanted to sell my house for a long time. It represented taking a step for me. But I also wanted to make sure it was completely finished for someone new. It was symbolic. And it is! And I’m taking the step. It’s good. I need to ride my bike.
Luckily, I’m only a little crazy. Not completely gone. Just a little neurotic. It’s ok.
Romance. Disillusionment. Terror. Awakening.
Today was good. I helped a family with their car. I gave a friend some nice light bulbs for their patio. I gave my friend his life jacket back. I gave some campers some firewood. I put some nice crawlspace vents on my old house for the new owner. I made eggs, bread, and Parmesan. I responded to a ton of emails. I surfed and helped some fellow surfers. I returned some things to Home Depot. I gave some old tools away. I swept. I realized, God is always near. I need to be thankful and watchful. I have a lot of complaints right now. A lot. They’re all going around in my head. There is a poetry retreat next weekend. I’m going to try and go to it. I do love you. I am thankful for you. I wish I could write you a letter.
Santa Cruz is a place of freedom. Of expression. Of wonder. Of sacrifice. Of protection. Of patience.
It is where some of the deepest minds of the earth have taken their rest. Hitchcock. Actors. Athletes. Oneill. This city is lost without Oneill. It is strange, but it has happened.
I am so, so, sorry.
Actually, my house wasn’t my first listing. I’m just not overbearingly loud about everything. In fact I shouldn’t have listed it myself. It’s awkward. But it was in the way and needed to go, one agent or another.
I sold my house. It’s good because after my driveway and new car I am getting low on savings. I keep thinking, I know I have a billion dollars, but I can’t remember where it is… where is it? How did I sell my house? With the laundry machine. I knew the right person was coming by. So I put some green sheets in the washer and left the lid open. Done.
I do believe in God, and I do believe I am following his will. And he can utterly annihilate and humble. With hardship and with blessings. And I have certainly seen both! I think I have the best possible person to buy my home. And I am going to bless them. But I had to wait and listen and endure. But to have someone that is enthusiastic, grateful, and pleased, that is a blessing. And it is very humbling.
Mr Kyle and the Bungalow life is done. It’s good actually. I really miss that area. But there are other areas.
Beat down. Oh I just feel so beat down. I have given up. Trying to prove anything. Trying to even be anything. Just enjoy. That’s what I do. I really do. But there’s a number of situations that have left me feeling belittled and it shows. It’s like there’s this huge thing around me I can’t get away from. All this criticism and judgement, everywhere I go. I need out of that. I rode today. It was good. Got a tune up. New handle bar tape. New tires!!! It felt great. The bike rode great. I was low on energy and low I enthusiasm. But that will change. I just need a new project. I’ll be back out there. This whole water line really brought me down. It was a total curve ball and honestly it was like an evil force made it happen. We were just happily getting ready to pave the driveway and list the house. Then all hell broke loose. Literally. Now it’s listed without a driveway and it doesn’t feel right. Maybe it just didn’t go to my plan. That’s ok. It will sell. It’s a great house. Everything was meticulously made to be easily usable and dependable and fun and enjoyable and it’s set to get you engaging with the fun things in the area.