I am looking for things to get angry about!!! Rather than the true source, my parents, because it is too hard to admit.

That’s one of my whiskers. Who can if one to lash out at, to prosecute, kick out, abandon. That is what is going on.

My whiskers are actually taking energy away from others. It is how I get energy to stay in denial.

I need to imagine reversing the flow. Giving energy through my whiskers.


Yesterday a young man at the range asked me how I am. I ignored him. What I wanted to say was, do you know you can have your own validation and acceptance inside? And that it will give you more power in life? And do you know how many different trees there are around you? If you want, try paying attention to it. And, I am angry, and I am trying to bait people and I don’t even know it. So thank you. I hope to talk to you again because we seem similar. That’s a manzanita. Knowledge about my surroundings gives me a sense of peace and strength.

You were trying to depend on me for validation and acceptance, and I can’t give you those things. Only you can. So I ignored you.

I am angry, and I can’t accept that I am angry at my family.

Looking for people to save, control, or manipulate.

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