Transition out of controlling others

Into success. Supreme control of emotion. Turn inward, reflect, parent, and let it go.

For me it’s a hurt five year old. Looking for tigers to save him. Looking to other hurt five year olds. But I can take care of him.

It’s also hurt pride. Pride I know your hurt. Be hurt. I can take care of you. Let the other person win and be with me.

Within 10 minutes I’ve moved on and life is even better. Thank you.

That’s this week. Be hurt without responding. Or reacting. Take care of it truly. Finish it.

Move out of experiencing to planning defining and acting. Not a victim of experience but an entity choosing a path through space.

Excitement. That one. That gets me into trouble. Excitement. Excitement. Excitement is inside of me. Excitement is a friend. Excitement is warm. Excitement plans ahead and thinks forwards. Excitement is patient. Excitement is in control. Excitement does one thing at a time. Excitement respects others. Excitement obeys the law. Excitement is equal to others. Excitement is humble. Excitement is fun. Excitement stays in control. Excitement enjoys the feeling.

THE CLOWN. I was highly adaptive. I don’t want to be. The clown came out of denial and loss. And shame. I felt I would die if I felt the shame. That is how it still feels.

I don’t know how to go deeper.

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