With counseling is that it works! I just wanted to accept myself. But in doing so I don’t have such a drive to do things! Which is strange for me. Normally I’d be planning a night rain ride or walk or sail or God knows what. But I’m just happy sitting listening to the rain! And I think that is a good thing. Although I do need exercise. I wonder what it will be like to ride downhill again. I’ve been doing a lot of work. My brain is fixing itself. It’s good. Oh but it’s hard. I keep waking up at 3 am sweating and chilled. It’s scary. But I am actually processing everything. Which is good.