The days are getting longer

Wait a second. I’ve been working longer hours. Digging in deep. This is an interesting profession. Especially for me. I used to pride myself in not talking to people. I was the coveted engineer. People came to me. Now I go to people. Who don’t want me. Hah! I surfed tonight at sunset. Ran in the morning. Stayed true to my commitments. My many commitments.

I’ve changed. I am willing to accept that Stacey may be better off with someone else. And I can be OK with that. My entire idea of relating to her has changed. I need to get her this blog. To make it real. So we are on the same page. What I am proposing. And if it could even work. We are very different. Maybe it just can’t work. I thought I saw her a month ago. And I thought I was just about ready to smile and say hi. Now I don’t even think about her. Not on purpose. I am just focused on work. I am so tired of the general commotion around her and me. I did stalk her twice in six years. Besides that I don’t ruminate on stalking her. Everyone seems to think that. These were two very isolated incidents that I did on purpose. I deserve to exist in the world without people assuming these things about me.

I made a newsletter for work. It’s really good. It has her heart in it. Because she put her heart in to me. I think maybe I’ve progressed past her. So I don’t feel this desperate need for her anymore. It is an epic newsletter.

Well the first step is admitting the problem. I think we hate each other. It’s like when I see her I am trying to project pain on to her, and she has seems to do that in the past to me. We seem to want to marry each other, but neither of us is stepping up enthusiastically, and we resent each other for it. That’s my opinion.

I want to show her my newsletter. I wish Timbuk2 would have a better flow with their media. It jumps between campaigns. I wish I could use her to stare at a map and say, oh, this is why homelessness is growing out of control. I’ve defintily become open to maybe I need someone else. At least considering it, because maybe I will have to. I am definitely ready. And I want to collaborate. And work together with someone. Do something great. Clandestinely help the city. A daily secret operation of media and information.

I feel like if I move on, this outward spiral of disastrous situations will disappear. I don’t know why that happened and it is not her fault. It’s the situation. And would she want to collaborate on social media? It’s like I am being cornered and bullied by this large situation into something that I am not. I will innately rebel becasue I don’t feel free to be myself. That was the whole point. To be free. I can’t be controlled. I am vastly different from her. I don’t want to and I can’t change. It doesn’t mean I am wrong. I was wrong about a lot. Can it possibly work?

What is she even doing? Is she setting herself up for a successful life? Making healthy habits that result in a strong immune system?

It appears that Timbuk2 did integrate two old themes. Reusing material. Which is great. But wheres the flow?! They could if they wanted to reintroduce old material all the time. People would love it. TBT. With an email alert. You know, one email per theme doesn’t work. It gets to someone at the wrong time. They delete it. But at another time, they might love it. Or six months later after they’ve forgotten about it and their priorities have changed. All that matters is that your boss thinks you are doing a good job. And how do you prove it? Track website visits? Email link clicks? How do you get more? More exposure. Exposing the same material to more people and at more times to the same people. And a wide variety of media. A constant flow of media. Consistency. Monday at 9 AM. Monday at 9 PM. Different people react to marketing differently at different times in the day. They decide in an instant. But one decision doesn’t mean complete rejection. They might act differently in six months. At 9 Am, they might react one way to one media, and another way to another media. Than at 9 PM, it’s totally different. The rejections don’t actually matter. All that matters is the yes. Positive clicks to the website. And they inherently include a lot of nos. So you just increase your exposure. More media. More times. Consistent flow. Variety is attractive. As well as media created inline with your authentic beliefs. Do you beleive in bags? Compartments? Buckles? Carrying? Storage? Biking? What is about Timbuk2 that you really believe in? It doesn’t matter what it is. If you accentuate it, it will attract.

Your emails are fashionable. The best. But you’re afraid of sending too many because they are empty. They don’t Ofer any value. How can they offer value? Education and explanation. There’s more but I can’t think of it currently. Where does leather come from. How does it get died. Or nylon. How are buckled made. Is there something interesting in the story of the buckle? The zipper? Nylon? Dies? The swirl? How do I wear it? What if I drop it? How do I wash it? The story has disappeared. Can they’re be glamour and story? I need value or I’m unsubscribing. I don’t mind a lot of emails if they’re valuable. I can delete the ones I don’t like. And how do I subscribe my friend?

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