The dark night of faith

You know after a bad Charlie horse, or hitting a funny bone, all you can do is laugh? That’s where I’m at. Dear God. I’ve endured a lot. As a kid. A lot of grief. A lot of just plain horrible inhumane abuse. It’s weird. And now I’m recognizing it in so many other people again. And it’s just like, oh my. At least I know the brain protects the soul. Dissociation. That’s what happens. Fantasy. Etc. Protection. I also witnessed some very very inhumane things!

That’s why I used to punch a punching bag. I need to get back on that bag. It’s like 5 years of punching bag for one bad incident. It was horrible. I keep seeing it over and over again. Haha! That’s where I’m at! Desensitization. Oh my God. Life is literally hell. We’re in hell. If you don’t see it, you’ve been tricked! I understand the positivity of being positive and doing positive things, and I am being positive and doing positive things. But this life, based on what I know exists here, this place is run by the most evil being you could imagine and mark my words, any ones only hope is that there is a loving God who is just and saves us in the end. That’s the truth!

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