What’s my favorite thing? Mediation.

This is the deal! I thought I had agreed to marry Stacey Peterson from Giro. And it was either nothing or it was everything. It was nothing in that it was my perception of a few mutually audible conversations that occurred at work when Stacey and I sat in cubicle groups next to each other, our two teams having alternating conversations and meetings that could be overheard. And my perception could have meant nothing if it didn’t mean anything to her. But if it did have the same meaning to her, than it was everything! And I wanted to honor the agreement and also make her honor it too. And I did not want to die and face not honoring the biggest promise you can make!

But I was starting to think, maybe it was nothing to her? Which is fine. But I was willing to wait to talk to her to find out. Because what if she had the same intention? That would be so cool! What a story! But four or five years later, as it is now, I have no clue. I don’t know if she was on the same page. Everything definitely indicated otherwise. And that made it weird because I had fantasized about having a life with her. And that’s kind of disrespectful. But I suppose I had fantasized haven’t sharing a life with a few choice people. Like sizing them up. Could it work?

All I know right now is I need to finish my house. I might sell it then, I don’t know. Then I need to start work. Then in May supposedly there will be a meeting where this elusive person is supposed to discuss things with me. And then, I will be a free man. Either free to date someone else or free to marry her.

Amber was changing her clothes outside of the bathroom. That is against the rules. I wanted to scream get out of my house you wacko! She is obnoxious. But instead I went in my room and closed the door for a few minutes. I had thought this must be better here than sleeping the the cold Forrest with poison oak and men trying to have sex with her and getting fractured bones. But my place is torn apart, she has no real bed, the heating is out right now, and she’s really obsessed with getting her car back. Getting her car means dmv, then trio to San Jose to have a key made from the vin, then me loaning 1500 to get the car. All in the hopes that she doesn’t flip out and lose her car again. I am learning that stolen generally means she flipped out and lost something. It is not clear how this occurs as I haven’t witnessed it, but I assume she runs somewhere, ditches something like her backpack or car, and then runs away and changes her clothing so the monster can’t find her. It’s the same reason it took me three days to find her. But I did.

So tomorrow, my plan was to get the floor back in and heating. But now I have to discuss with my adopted person, what’s more important to her? Heating, car, or bed?the car may be out of the question because I don’t know if I can loan that. And what does it gain her? Maybe she wanted to lose the car. Maybe that means something.

If I hadn’t taken her in, none of this would matter. I wouldn’t have to be patient. I wouldn’t have to accommodate her. I would just finish my project and think about the future. I really can’t decide what’s better.

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