Yes, no matter what anyone else says or thinks is right. Just forget all of it. They didn’t commit to you. No one else did. We just need to face each other for real. Everything else will work out. It won’t matter what you thought you wanted or what you thought was right. It will all end up changing anyway. Well both be doing something we’ve never done before. You can always get space later if you need. Obviously. You wouldn’t walk into a trap would you?
Me neither! We have to be smart. We both have subconscious manipulative motivations. Mutual agreement is the key. With intense eye contact so we can be sure we’re being real.
I’m going to write and ask for written communication. Then we can be sure we’re discussing things for real. Then we can go from there. That’s it. Last chance for us!
If you have problems with anything you can put it in writing. Pre nuptial agreement. If Kyle is abusive then there will be a two week break. And a therapist. If Kyle cheats then Stacey is entitled to a divorce and half of the assets. Honestly something tells me she has more than me. If Kyle wants to kill himself Stacey can take a break. If Stacey needs a friend she can have friends of her choosing. If Kyle drinks Stacey can take a break. It’s all simple details. And it’s totally worth the cause and the adventure.
I think complaints of physical abuse, stalking, drinking, cheating, and anything similar are valid. Complaints about anything else, I am not sure if they have a place in a mature marriage or engagement. I could be wrong and am certainly open to discussing it. If the complaints are made with a detailed explanation so that they can be understood.
If anyone would like to add their complaints, that isn’t valid. They aren’t in the relationship. Progress inherently includes problems. If they want to progress along their own journey and if they want to progress along the journey of marriage, they can do that their own way with the person who commits to them. And God bless them in that journey.
This is what I learned from Chardonnay. They run an extremely high risk platform and have an essentially impeccable record. Because they just focus on doing their best and let the rest of the harbor be themselves.
It isn’t my fault that Stacey was that much more advanced then me and I had to catch up. It’s just what it was. And, in fact, we’re both lucky to have had it happen. And again, I do believe this was Gods intention and that the platform with which we met and communicate is beneficial for the world. Sort of a public example of peace and unity.
Im so excited because well both have to adjust more. It’ll be nerve wracking and intense. Everything will be on the line. But we can help each other through it. And well still go on solo runs and rides. And with friends. But then ride together. Ohhhh. Then a little golf here and there. Then a mountain trip. A back packing. A lake trip. Fishing. Then kids. Education. Planning. Epic discussions with a giant piece of paper. Planning and prioritizing and brainstorming. I mean we’re already so effective. Imagine how much more effective we could be for us.
And also just chill out and relax. Just learn to be present with the anger and frustration and just stay there. Don’t add to the drama. You don’t know what is going on in my head. I do.
I can see myself in five years having a kid. I can see me reading kids. I can see all the way until I’m dying. Winning, controlling, none of that will matter. I won’t need anything then.
It will be good just to have known someone. For real. For ever.
Oo that’s how I’ll start the letter.
I can’t think of anyone better to know than Stacey Davenport. You know, we could start by getting to know each other. And go from there.
Its funny that we came together. My whole agenda when I met her was no rush. Hers was relax. And so now those two words have a very important meaning to me. So I tell people, if I get out of whack, tell me the words no rush and it will trigger me back in to love. And it does. I gain composure and see the bigger picture. And I bet if I told her relax, it would have the same effect. What more could you ask for? Two people who’s priorities are no rush and relax. And if you say it to them they instantly become loving. Hah! What on earth?
I just kept pushing her away until I was sure I could handle myself, others, and her criticisms. And I think I’m there!!!
Actually if you think about it, we’re already on top of the world world. We’re just winding down from the climb. You know when your adrenaline is still rushing?
Its just good to have people who are growing away from the constant need for immediate satisfaction and intense fulfillment. It just always is at the expense of others. And we stopped to really explore the meaning of all one. And I think to really explore that, we have to become one.
Yep, it’s too late for the crazy expectations and the comparisons. There’s perfect guys out there and it seems you were in a perfect relationship. But they didn’t commit. I did. I had a perfect relationship too. But we didn’t commit either. Because we didn’t challenge eachother. We didn’t work the same way we do. We didn’t have the goals. The love. The desire.