I am starting to see above the “goo”. What’s scary is, I didn’t know I was in it. I can see it in others now. It’s like they’re in this scene. They don’t actually see whats around them. Only specific things. It’s a symptom of A lot of pain. Anger. Intimidation. Yikes!
I got out of the largish waves today, only to meet a ton of people on the cliff looking angrily at each other. I blurted out, get out in the water and stop intimidating! Two entire groups of people that were in this non verbal confrontation let their guard down and walked on!
Then every kid with his girlfriend or skateboard looked at me angrily while I changed. I eventually said, in a very fatherly tone, it’s OK. You don’t have to be afraid. And then they sort of lightened up. Then a whole group of separate couples came by, all seemingly suspicious of each other. So I said, we don’t have to be afraid of each other! Everyone has a heart! And they smiled.
So, I think this was good. Better than acting neurotic.
It’s like when a long boarder takes your wave. Or like when I met Stacey.
The short boarder gets a wave. And rides it well. It’s the culmination of years of practice, experience, balance, and strength. Just getting up in grace is a major feat. Then slamming across the wave, reading it, keeping speed. But then, the self absorbed long bairder decides to paddle into the coming wave. His ego itself almost stops the humble, sensitive, short boarder. And that’s just the thing. The world is full of truly sensitive, truly humble people, giving up their lives for others, and constantly being trumped by egotistical idiots. And I was one of them. In order to do something great, you have to be vulnerable. And you inevitably get hit over and over by the invulnerable.