I don’t understand

I’m going typical! I’m becoming dumb, fat, and I just want to watch movies. Literally all my energy is drained. What is this? I can’t focus on anything. I’ll start rice and then go into the front yard and an hour later smell toast and remember, o( yeah, the rice. I never used to be like this. My brain is completely scrambled. And everything around me is too! What on earth!!! I’m going crazy! And I keep hurting myself. It’s like integration of me. I have all these sub parts of me. One part wants to be hurt. One part is hurt. One wants to be cute. One can’t stand the attention I get when I act cute. On and on and on. It’s all mixing together. Like paint. I mixed some of 5e red paint yesterday with the white primer before I primed. Ohhh what a color. Should have stuck with that. The real red was way too dark.

Oh no! It’s like I’m being me. I used to sort of act certain ways around different people to make them feel ok. But now, I am forcing people to deal wi5 themselves! What is the deal! Why can’t people deal with themselves! Ohhh man. Deal with your own life and kids and all of that!

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