I am an addict?

Is this why I liked to hang around the homeless? Get a contact high? Inside, I am addicted to pain. Maybe it’s the rush. The endorphins. The adrenaline. I keep hurting myself. And it’s almost as if, something inside of me did it on purpose.

It’s me as a kid. Wandering around. Barely able to walk. Happy. Curious. Bright eyed. Slam. Unconscious. Why happened? No one really knows. We don’t talk about it. Talk about it? That’s crazy! Death looks. Freeze. Numb.

Baby, I’m sorry for the flowers
All the times you wrote my name
It’s just a battle all the same

Baby, I’m sorry for the showers
That I never could let go
I know you saw me at the show

It’s just a battle all the same
It started when I read your name
But my bets that you love me, anyway

Baby, I’m sorry for the shadows
The never ending song of sadness
It’s just a crows call full of madness

But my bets that you love me, anyway

It’s been a life long misery
I should have hung on to the story
But I know that you love me, anyway

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