I don’t get it!!! I am just incapable. That’s right! What is the deal?!
Its 12 steps after 12 steps, amends after amends, therapy, accountability, and on and on.
I camped last night. Today fixed my bike at the bike church. I was really angry about my wheel because I had asked a bike shop to fix it, and they acted like I didn’t know what I was talking about. The bike church was great. Before I left, I helped a younger woman align her shifter. Most people don’t understand shifters. But they’re really quite simple. Everyone gets stuck on the limits. The limits have nothing to do with it. All that matters is the indexer is centered over the gear. That’s lit. The limits help, but nothing will work until the indexer is centered over the gear, and no amount of limit setting will fix that.
So I rode off, in a rush to meet a person from my real estate area, to give her family a gift that was donated by other people in the area. I forgot to clean my brakes that were covered in oil. I don’t really want to talk about what happened. I threw in an epic wheelie over a bridge, and slowly went all the way back because I had no brakes. My foot went down, and got caught on something, and twisted my knee to stop me at 15 mph.
This is my life. Why can’t I center? What doesn’t my indexer work? Can someone please tell me the solution?!
It’s like I’m constantly being sucked into everyone else’s little moment. While I’m trying to float through this massive plan. Gift exchange. Christmas. Riding. Racing. Camping. Everyone stops me everywhere I go, they need something. I can’t figure this out.
How do I surrender? And how have I not surrendered? Is it Stacey? It just won’t work? I have to let go? What is it?!